I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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