Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my shit smells like andre
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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