Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
