it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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