Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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