id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
