these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
