I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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