i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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