I heard we made out
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
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