Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
