This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize