I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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