So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
