The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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