Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
