Me. At least after what I've been through.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize
