When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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