If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
