ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
