I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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