Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
he had hair everywhere except his balls
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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