So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
