i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
