Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize