You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
