Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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