he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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