I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
