She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
