I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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