The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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