def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
