:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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