No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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