she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
