i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
