So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
