you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
