Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
