What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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