He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
