I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
