so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
