Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize