Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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