i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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