I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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