Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
