There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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