I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
