Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
