I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
