I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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