Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
