Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
