But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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