i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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