Don't you send me to vm
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
operation harelip BJ is a go
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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