Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
